Craggy Island Festival

I have been very disappointed at the poor attendance of other holy festivals on Craggy Island over the years. I couldn't be totally sure but not coming to the island during the holy weekend of Friday, 12th May - Sunday 14th might be classed as a mortal sin by the Vatican (I am awaitng a Papal Bull in the post any day to confirm). So I decided to organise a proper parochial festival this year and to sell tickets for the holy work of refurbishing the parochial house. All proceeds will rest in my account until we find a good builder!

I'd like to think that The Craggy Island Festival has become a must-go since I took over the reins. Always happy to get feedback from my parishioners, I've acted on many of the suggestions in an effort to make the festival more inclusive and 'family-friendly' (Chinese welcome as always!). I've tried to cut down on the more overly religious parts - in favour of many 'fun' items as I've always believed it is more important to 'have a laugh'. The regular features of a nine hour noveana will be reduced to six (thanks for that suggestion Mrs Murphy (73)) and we will be continuing the theme park with all the usual attractions.

Ladies, do not be concerned by rumours, the 'Lovely Girls Contest' will be taking place! However, we live in an era of equality so we will be running a 'Lovely Boys Contest' as well. And I am also thinking of organising a pre 2017 Lent Seminar complete with tips on how to do penance properly.

A word of caution the local parish hall can only hold 300 lucky people so go and purchase your ticket as soon as possible. The IT guys on the mainland have made a lovely simple online ticket system. That means you don't need real money just give us your credit or debit card details and you will be glad to know the money goes directly into my account. I promise to only give your details to the good priests around Ireland who need your support.

Make sure that you book accommodation as I cannot allow anyone to stay at the parochial house. Remember the roof needs repairs! I have spoken to the good people on the island and they all say they can offer accommodation at a reasonable price. And also be aware that a number of priests have been spotted on the island including Fr. Damo and Fr. Stone and also the lovely Eoin Mc'Love.

Can I stress again - not buying a ticket is probably a sin. I could be wrong about that, but it's best not to take a chance, isn't it?